It is a formidable task. Daunting and draining. And VERY discouraging! I just don't know the rules!
Do I join the rat race? Or set my own pace?
I'm new at the game of parenting. I'm only just beginning to figure out my parental philosophies. Some philosophies are already set in stone and non-negotiable. Things like: respecting yourself and others, no hitting, no embarrassing your parents (we've got a long way to go on this one), pizza IS a major food group, Mama is a beautiful princess, etc.
Other philosophies are evolving or forming. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm making it up as I go along! Working on the fly. Winging it, even.
Birthday parties enter the "winging it" column. What exactly is the party protocol?
In the absence of a sufficient answer I do what any self-respecting Mom would do. I ask myself, "What would the Jones's do?"
Oh, how I wish the Jones were around for a little Q&A before I sent Drew off to a party last weekend!
Weeks earlier a fancy, bedazzled and adorned card arrived in the mail inviting Drew to a birthday party at a local kids' party palace. There would be games and pizza and cake and all the fun and excitement a 5 year old could want. There would also be the all important gift giving gala.
Oh, no! A gift!
What do I get for a gift? What does this kid (that I wouldn't recognize if he bit me) want or need? What is the gift giving protocol?
So I employed my budding parental philosophy chip to work out a system that would serve me now and for future parties. I asked myself various questions.
1. Would I want someone to spend a lot of money on a gift? No.
2. Would I want a gift that requires batteries, that blinks and blares and beeps at me? No. (But my kids probably do!)
3. Would I want my kids to get something edible? No.
Armed with my new philosophy I decided to purchase one of Drew's favorite books.
This wasn't objectionable to Drew. So we wrapped it up in leftover Christmas wrapping paper that we turned over for the white side to face out. Plunked a silver and purple bow on the outside (also leftover from the holidays), and Drew wrote the "To and From" right on the paper. (I was in a bind and short on time. It was all I had. In the future, I'll do better on this front. I'll get real paper next time.)
Off we went, secure in our choice.
As we drove up to the palace I saw balloons and gifts and tons of cars. I panicked!
Oh no! I scrimped on the gift! What were all the other Jones's bringing?
Too late now to go and get an out-of-this-world gift, I sent him in clutching the meager offering. After I yelled out the window for Drew to wipe the peanut butter from his face, we left him there to pig out, play out, and party out....five-year-old style.
As Drew emerged from the party 2 hours later with a sugar hangover I noticed he was toting a gift for himself. A party favor. In the fancy and ornate box were little toys, novelty candy and all manner of goodies.
Pooh. The party favors were better than the gift I wrapped in inside-out snowman paper!
I realized then and there that my philosophy on parties was flawed. I need to go back and rewrite, restructure and reconfigure the parameters for gift giving.
Oh, the perils of parenting and keeping up with the Joneses. It's a dirty job and unfortunately I've got to do it.
1 comment:
Books are GREAT gifts! I think you did very well. Something I have done when I have no idea of what to get the birthday child is to call their parent and ask what the child is interested in. If they give me a broad spectrumed answer I let my kid, whoever is invited, pick the gift. It has worked out well so far and I usually keep it under $10, or $15 max. I hope this helps! :)
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