Our Fallen Hero Part 2

Owen.

What more do I need to say?

If I survive his exploits and adventures I deserve a designer handbag and more sassy shoes.

I know other kids are mischievous and inquisitive. But they aren't my kids!

Owen belongs to me.

We haven't had any "misadventures" in a while so I've been enjoying the relative calm. And then in the blink of an eye my Captain Owen disappeared and became Evil Owen.

Right on the heels of the brownie disaster came the "great kung-fu caper of '09."

Starring me! Finally my chance at stardom and Owen handed it to me on a plate!

I found myself amidst a tornado of Lego's, army guys, trains, airplanes, dinosaurs and scraggly little boys. I had no make-up on and the same pants that I wore the day before. Kai had snot ropes shooting out of his nose (sorry for the visual, but it adds to the drama!) and Drew had hair horns shooting from his scalp like Mt. Crumpit.

We were a mess!

I was in the basement toy room ignoring all the chaos around me and the grime in the sink just one floor up. Lost in a daydream (I was skiing) I noticed that it was too quiet for 3 boys. Owen had slipped upstairs.

Oh, no! Past experience indicates a disaster in the making.

Luckily, just as panic set in, he came down the stairs and I was happy that no unfortunate incident took place.

Shortly thereafter, a horrific scent wafted to my nose. I realized that Kai had a dirty diaper to beat all dirty diapers and needed a change before we passed out from the fumes.

I ascended the stairs to squeals of, "EEwwww! What's that smell? Something stinks!" As I reached to door and started to turn the knob I realized that Evil Owen had struck again.

That little devil locked us in the basement!

I didn't panic. I went to get the metal hanger to poke open the lock.

Wouldn't you just know it? The lock requires a KEY!

I have no key!

I can't go around to the front or back of the house because both doors were locked. The windows were locked. I had no key for anything and I was stuck in the basement with a foul stench, ankle biters, no food and no hope of rescue.

My phone was of no use because the only person that could save us was Jay. And he was stuck in the underbelly of the Pentagon and rarely reachable.

I had but one option. I had to bust down the door! I had to go full on Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris on our basement door!

Rage and anger were on my side, so I geared up for a full-throttle assault. I started by using my hip to test the resistance. After a few mediocre thrusts I gave the door what I thought would be the final blow.

Nothing!

A few creaks and groans from me AND the door, but it was still in place.

By this time, I was so mad at Owen and the door that I realized I had to pull out all the stops. I had to kick the door in! (Thankfully, I was wearing my gym shoes and not my sassy peep-toes.)

After a few test kicks I had a thought pop into my mind. "Just check the front door."

I always lock the front door. Always. But maybe, just maybe....

I hiked around the side of the house in 28 degree weather, cussing the entire way.

GLORY HALLELUJAH!!!!

So who feels silly now? I just waged World War III on my basement door!

My brother Dane told me a phrase that firefighters use that might help me should I find myself in this position again...

"Try before you pry!"

Thanks. I'll remember that.