Autumn

I love ALL things autumn.  I crave the cool, crisp weather and bright, crunchy leaves.  I like warm sweaters and tall brown boots.  I can eat pumpkin bread until I'm sick.  And I don't even mind burning my tongue on hot apple cider.  

My favorite, however, is the pumpkin patch.  Nothing says fall like wandering among the pumpkins looking for the perfect one that will provide you with the best jack-o-lantern on the block.  (I believe I get the crave to carve from my Mom who has never missed a year of making a jack-o-lantern.....and the last child left the house 6 years ago!)

This year, however, started out to be somewhat of a disappointment.  My dreams of autumnal bliss and glory appeared to have been dashed before they even got started.

On our trip to Belvedere Plantation we were not clothed in our coziest sweaters but our shorts and t-shirts.  The 81 degree heat made the day seem strangely upside down and mismatched for our fall festivities.  Not surprisingly, the boys didn't care about the weather or that my vision of the perfect season was baking in the heat and humidity.  All they wanted to do was play.  And play they did!  They swung on rope swings in the barn, rode around on tiny tractors, and searched for their "pumpkin family."  We had a great day and once again I am taught by my little professors.....don't let your idea of the "perfect" day get in the way of your day!

 

*notice the red cheeks and sweaty heads

Much to Owen's distress, our pesky neighborhood squirrel decided to make a meal out of our "Daddy pumpkin."  Since the initial meal, Drew and Owen have terrorized this squirrel any time it dares to set paw on our lawn or in our tree.  It is hunted down with sticks and squeals of, "GET IT!  GET IT!  Don't let it eat our Daddy pumpkin!"  Apparently, the squirrel's taste buds win out over its fear of two terrorizing savages because it keeps coming back for more!!!

When you take three boys to bounce-houses, on hay rides, picking pumpkins and cookie making adventures you discover some things:   

1.) Bring wet wipes and a sense of humor  

2.) Check your expectations at the door

3.) Make everyone go potty first

4.) Try to see things through their eyes

5.) Enjoy the ride, you'll be on it for a while!

Moments

I've had a few "moments" in the past week.  You know the kind of moment...where you realize in a nanosecond that things are changing, kids are growing, time is slipping away, you're getting older and you don't want to forget things.  Things that you promised yourself were so memorable, how could you possibly forget?  And then the following week when you try to recall the adorable or outrageous "moment" it is nowhere to be found.  It has been shoved to the dusty part of your brain by the more mundane moments of everyday life.  

I write about my moments now because I don't want these gems replaced by anything mundane.

It was the middle of the night and I was awake.  I was lying in bed waiting for Kai to wake up.  Waiting! Waiting for the familiar moonlight wailing in which he has become so proficient!  

Instead of hearing the familiar wail I heard the door open.  I listen closer and I hear little feet shuffling down the hallway.  (No, I'm not crazy!  It isn't Kai doing the shuffling.  Drew and Kai share a room!)  

The little feet turn the corner to the bathroom.  I'm waiting for the light to turn on but the house remains dark.  Not even a nightlight.  Next, I hear the very distinct sound of a little boy going potty.  Again, I hear the shuffling, the door close, and then silence.  

Did Drew just get up in the middle of the night to go potty? He didn't even ask for me.  He didn't need my help.  He could do it all by himself.  He did not need his Mama.

In that moment I realized that before I know it he'll be doing so many things by himself...he won't need or even want my help.  All at once it is a liberating and frightening thought.  With Drew's independence comes bigger consequences and greater heartache that I won't be able to control or shield him from.  

Maybe it was the late hour, but I lay there feeling somewhat sentimental about my oldest boy going potty in the middle of the night unassisted!  And so it goes....

Why is there a dark picture of a tee-pee, you ask?  Well, this is the scene of the crime.  My other "moment."  This can only be described as a quintessential "Owen Moment."

The boys and I visited a local nursery where they had pumpkins, bounce houses and the fateful tee-pee.  As little boys are apt to do, Drew and Owen were running around fully intent on releasing all the pent up energy they had accumulated.  I was happy to see them run around from activity to activity with such excitement.  

As I was tending to Kai I noticed Owen was nowhere to be seen.  The area was secure so I wasn't concerned that he had gone missing, more that he was getting into trouble.  As I look around the corner I am greeted with the vision of my 2 year old standing in the tee-pee with his pants around his ankles!  

I panic.  I run to the scene of the crime searching for the offending wet spot in the straw.  What I find is something far more tragic.  

Apparently my little boy was so excited that he forgot to tell me he had to go to the bathroom....the poopy kind!!!  

Survival mode set in and I had to work quickly.  An unsuspecting boy and his mother were rounding the corner, about to enter our now defiled tee-pee.  I gather the "you-know-what" in the surrounding hay, place it in a burp cloth, toss it in an outdoor trash can, and leave the scene of the crime as fast as I can!

Clearly, this story shows that I have failed somewhere; however, this is not the reason I share it.  I share it only so that someday (maybe when Owen is 16), one of you might bring this incident up at the most inappropriate time so as to embarrass him just as much as he embarrassed me!!!

Did I Just Say That?

As a relatively new parent I know that I don't know it all.  Unfortunately for my children (particularly the oldest), this is an on-the-job-training kind of a job.  You can read the books, search the internet and talk to your own Mom, but mostly you are on your own on the parenting front lines.  Sometimes I feel like the Commander-In-Chief... but, more often than not, I'm the PFC. (For all you non-military types, that is the lowest rank you can be!)

There are a few things that I sort of expected I might say as a parent.  (Although I swore as a child I never would!)  I thought I might say things like...

"Because I said so!"

"Because I'm the grown-up...that's why!"

"Stay in your room and think about what you've done."

"You can't have any dessert until you eat your vegetables."

"I'm only doing this because I love you."  (Which, in all honesty, never made sense to me as a child.)

I NEVER thought I would hear myself saying....

"Owen, we don't wash our hands in the toilet!"

"Owen, please take your taquitos out from between your toes!"

"Owen, NO, you can't go potty on the fire hydrant in the yard!"

"No, Owen, you can't take a shower with me....even with your swim goggles on!"

"Owen, stop licking the slide!  Do you know how many bottoms have been on it?"

Sometimes life throws you a curveball.  In my case it's named Owen.  

Overheard

Drew:  (whining) I want that rake!  Give it to me! It's my turn!

Owen:  (screaming at the top of his lungs) NO!  I had it first! You can't take it away! It's mine!

       *exchange is repeated 10 or 11 times until Drew becomes distracted

       *exchange takes place while running around a tree in front yard

Fast-Forward 5 minutes....

Owen:  (in a conciliatory tone) You can have the rake Drew.  I don't want it any more.

Drew:  (angrily) NO!  I'm going to take it from you!  You can't give it to me!

Owen:  (now angry)  NO!  I'm going to give it to you!  Here!  Take it!

       *repeat this until the mom comes out and takes the rake 

Fast-Forward 30 minutes....

Drew and Owen were playing "let's go to work" with their bikes.  Drew reminded Owen that he forgot to give him a kiss before he left for work.  Owen happily complied and came in for the big smooch.  

As Owen's lips approached Drew's he became frozen, mortified.  I could read Drew's thoughts...

"What do I do now?  I can't back out!  But I don't want this kid to come anywhere near my lips!  I was just pretending and now he's taking it too far!"

Owen sensed the apprehension and stopped in his tracks....aware that he was about to break some unspoken brotherly pact.  He wouldn't cross that line!  The repercussions were too great!

This is the result of the compromise.

Mission Impossible

The conditions were not perfect.  The rain had been splashing down all day forcing three energetic boys and one tired Mama to be cooped up together without escape. There were feeble attempts to make the best out of a terrible situation but those attempts fell flat.  

We had been at odds all day. Because of the rain I took the boys to the airplane museum.  One of their favorite places.  The museum is basically a gigantic airplane hangar with planes and helicopters on the ground and hanging from the ceiling.  All of those hard surfaces make for a great echo when a 4 year old decides to pitch himself to the ground and scream at the top of his lungs.  Believe me, the reverberation is impressive! 

The airplane museum was the last straw for me.  I vowed to never take him anywhere again!  I vowed to keep him in his room for 2 days!  I vowed to take away his toys!  These were silly, childish and empty threats on my part but it felt better just to say them.   

I got to this rainy Friday evening and I looked at my sweet 4 year old and something scary happened.  I forgot why I liked him!  (I knew that I loved him.  I just forgot why I liked him.)

Something had to be done.....and quick!!!

So a special date was set up to restore everyone's spirits.  Most of all, mine.

We brushed our hair and I touched up my make-up for the date with my biggest little man.  As I was preparing for our picture to make this time even more memorable and special, I looked out in the rain to see my boy running around the yard with excitement.  I had to stop myself from saying, "Get in here!  You're getting wet!"  What was occurring was actually quite profound.

Drew was reminding his tired and grouchy Mama why she liked him and just how much she loves him.  He had already forgotten that I had yelled at him too many times to count that day.  He had even forgotten that I had made it evident I didn't want to play with him that day.  Drew had already forgiven me before I had even considered forgiving him.  

Drew's dash in the rain was the pure joy and excitement of a child who knew he was about to have my undivided attention (and some tasty treats!).  

We had a wonderful date.  

Lesson learned.

Mission accomplished.