Jay

Obviously, I knew Jay was special when I married him almost 10 years ago.  He possessed all the qualities I could ever hope for in a husband....and then some.  I'd like to hone in on the "and then some."

I'll save all the mushy expressions of love and adoration for a later time.  Right now, I want to focus on the quirks that my dream guy has that might not be as obvious to the outside world. These quirks have revealed themselves to me little by little over the years and have served to keep me intrigued despite the seemingly ordinary existence we find ourselves in.  

I warn you, these qualities are not what you expect.  These are the qualities that truly make Jay "special."  

As I was putting away some things in our room I opened up Jay's bedside table. The variety of items in this little drawer is astonishing!  I discovered things that you might expect to find next to a bed.....a book, a pen, lotion, remote.  There were mechanic and woodworking magazines and every kind of catalog imaginable.

However, it is one small item that typifies how my sweet husband operates.  (At this point you may insert the Sesame Street song "One of These Things is Not Like the Others".)

Among the mundane items I found a.......

Spark plug!!!!!

Who has a spark plug next to their bed?  And why?  And how did this little item make its way from a car, from the garage, into my bedroom?  

I also know that I am forever, inextricably linked to Jay because I actually recognized the foreign object!

Not only does Jay keep car parts next to his bed, but he has a thing about rodents.  

Specifically.....mice.

To me (and most of the world, I might add), mice are not good for one blooming thing.  (Except for in a lab.)  Any and all mice should be hunted down and killed.  I make no bones about it.  I want them killed.  

PETA, you can hate me all you want!

If they are in my house, terrorizing me and my children, then all bets are off.  

As man of the house, I expect Jay to terminate these pests efficiently and vigorously.  

However, Rambo he is NOT!  (MacGyver...yes.  Rambo...no.)

He is the only man I know that will actually give the mouse a "heads-up" before he tries to capture it.  There is no "termination".  Jay just wants to "catch and release."  

In our home in Greenwich, CT we had an unwanted guest.  We shall call him "Jerry."  He had been terrorizing us for weeks, leaving his "evidence" behind just to taunt us.  (And gross us out.)

 The final straw was when he was spotted on our Triscuit box in the pantry.

"GAME ON!!!"  I said. 

Plans were made, traps were set, and warfare commenced.......

Well....Jerry escaped 2 times from the "traps" that Jay placed.  Jerry got a stomach full of delicious peanut butter for his time.  And Jay got an earful from his wife!  

The last straw was when Jerry was thoroughly stuck on the glue trap in the middle of our kitchen.  Finally, Jay had Jerry just where I wanted him!!!  But...

Jay didn't feel the need to deal with the captive so he decided to wait until morning.  Fateful decision.  That strategy, once again, was doomed.  

Jerry outsmarted my husband!  

Jerry wriggled and writhed his way over to the radiator, warmed up the glue on the trap, and bolted to freedom.  Snickering the whole way.

Moral of the story?  If you want your car fixed.....call Jay.  

If you want to rid your home of unwanted house guests....consult the phone book.