Bah, Humbug!

I take back everything nice I said about Kai in the previous post. I take back the "beautiful" and I definitely take back "magnificent." Kai has officially been placed on the naughty and not nice list!

Shortly after I posted my last entry, Kai decided to join the club. The "Hooligans Anonymous" club. CEO is Owen. CFO is Drew. Newest pledge is Kai.  Hooligans... all!!!

I thought I had at least several more months until Kai's initiation.  You see, you must do something grand and impressive to be considered for the club.  Surely Kai is too young to be in the running, I thought.  

I thought wrong!

Previous pledges gained entry into this exclusive club by doing things like painting their face, hands, clothes and Mama and Daddy's bed with red fingernail polish.....15 minutes before church.  (Thanks, Owen!)

Drew joined after he wrote on our fireplace, walls, dishwasher and fridge with red crayon.  (In the interest of full disclosure, he was under the very "watchful" eye of Jay at the time.)

What could Kai possibly do at the tender age of nine months, you ask?

He could summon the police!

Apparently, if a child calls 9-1-1 and then proceeds to slobber on and then hang up the phone, it requires a visit from the friendly neighborhood county police.  Imagine my surprise when a completely bald, rather stern police officer shows up at the door with a wad of chew in his mouth, .45 caliber pistol on his hip, bullet proof vest, and asks, "Is there a problem, ma'am? We got a 911 hang up call."

Well, I have Kai on my hip, a confused scowl on my face, and hooligans swirling about playing "monster" and I have to suppress the urge to respond, "Yeah, there's a problem!  I lost my mind and I'm being held captive by ankle biters!  Please rescue me, kind officer!"  

Instead I say, "Apparently I need to keep better tabs on my 9 month old.  He was playing with the phone.  Sorry for your trouble, sir."  

With that, he gives me a small smile, turns on his heel and heads back to his cruiser.  Thankfully, no lights or sirens were required.

In order to remain in good standing with the club and its officers, Kai must now proceed to think of any way to embarrass or otherwise fluster his mother.  i.e. poop in a teepee (follow this link for that lovely story) or pitch a fit in a museum.  The by-laws state that any and all shenanigans would be accepted in good faith.

'Tis the season!   Fa-la-la-la-la.......