Magic

I miss the sound of applause.

I miss taking a bow.

I miss getting a paycheck.... for taking the bow and listening to the applause.

Call me vain or self-possessed.  Call me what you will.  But taking a curtain call is in a word....magic.

It has been years since I took my final bow and the curtain closed.  I knew I could return when the time was right.  I also knew that I didn't really have to leave the theatre at all.  Jay supported me in whatever choice I made.  

But....I knew a new Act in my life was beginning.  A new show was ready to be staged.

Sometimes I feel like the all important producer or director.  Most times, though, I feel like a bit player trying desperately to be noticed.  Who are the stars?  I'll give you three guesses.

Drew.

Owen.

Kai.

They get the applause now.  

In fact, Owen got applause 5 times yesterday.  

"Mama....I DID it!"  He says after he managed to get all of his potty in the toilet and not on the floor or wall.  

He got thunderous applause for this one.

I applauded him after he choked down one measly bite of pear.  (It took a full 5 minutes for him to actually swallow it.  But we're taking baby steps!)

Owen got applause for snapping a particularly difficult snap on his new pair of jeans, making a sea horse out of Play-Doh, and standing on one leg for a long time.  He was brimming with pride and I dutifully gave him his standing-o.

Drew got applause for not writing his J backwards.  I clapped for him when he counted to 100.  In fact, I was a captive audience for the 2 very riveting shows of "Listen to me count to 100, Mama!"   

I clapped both times.  

I even shouted "BRAVO!" when Drew caught the ball 5 times in a row.  (He got to take a bow for this one.)

And Kai...he's taking his first steps now.  I applauded for those two little wobbly steps.  

So the stars get their kudos and accolades.  And the bit player continues to do her work.  Show after show, day after day.  

Where is the magic for me?  I certainly don't get applause.  And the paycheck is a distant memory.  

So what's a theatre girl to do?

I've discovered my new magic.....

My magic happens when a 3 year old runs in with tears on his cheeks saying,  "Mama!  Kiss it!  Kiss it!"  And I have the power to make the pain stop and the tears disappear....with my magic kiss.  

Magic happens when I hear Drew say to Owen, "Make sure you keep Kai company while I go to the bathroom.  We don't want him to be sad in his crib, all alone."  

And magic is being married to your best friend for almost 10 years and you can't wait for another 10!

Despite the magic happening all around me, I have a dirty little secret......

I...

Still miss.....

the applause.

Jay

Obviously, I knew Jay was special when I married him almost 10 years ago.  He possessed all the qualities I could ever hope for in a husband....and then some.  I'd like to hone in on the "and then some."

I'll save all the mushy expressions of love and adoration for a later time.  Right now, I want to focus on the quirks that my dream guy has that might not be as obvious to the outside world. These quirks have revealed themselves to me little by little over the years and have served to keep me intrigued despite the seemingly ordinary existence we find ourselves in.  

I warn you, these qualities are not what you expect.  These are the qualities that truly make Jay "special."  

As I was putting away some things in our room I opened up Jay's bedside table. The variety of items in this little drawer is astonishing!  I discovered things that you might expect to find next to a bed.....a book, a pen, lotion, remote.  There were mechanic and woodworking magazines and every kind of catalog imaginable.

However, it is one small item that typifies how my sweet husband operates.  (At this point you may insert the Sesame Street song "One of These Things is Not Like the Others".)

Among the mundane items I found a.......

Spark plug!!!!!

Who has a spark plug next to their bed?  And why?  And how did this little item make its way from a car, from the garage, into my bedroom?  

I also know that I am forever, inextricably linked to Jay because I actually recognized the foreign object!

Not only does Jay keep car parts next to his bed, but he has a thing about rodents.  

Specifically.....mice.

To me (and most of the world, I might add), mice are not good for one blooming thing.  (Except for in a lab.)  Any and all mice should be hunted down and killed.  I make no bones about it.  I want them killed.  

PETA, you can hate me all you want!

If they are in my house, terrorizing me and my children, then all bets are off.  

As man of the house, I expect Jay to terminate these pests efficiently and vigorously.  

However, Rambo he is NOT!  (MacGyver...yes.  Rambo...no.)

He is the only man I know that will actually give the mouse a "heads-up" before he tries to capture it.  There is no "termination".  Jay just wants to "catch and release."  

In our home in Greenwich, CT we had an unwanted guest.  We shall call him "Jerry."  He had been terrorizing us for weeks, leaving his "evidence" behind just to taunt us.  (And gross us out.)

 The final straw was when he was spotted on our Triscuit box in the pantry.

"GAME ON!!!"  I said. 

Plans were made, traps were set, and warfare commenced.......

Well....Jerry escaped 2 times from the "traps" that Jay placed.  Jerry got a stomach full of delicious peanut butter for his time.  And Jay got an earful from his wife!  

The last straw was when Jerry was thoroughly stuck on the glue trap in the middle of our kitchen.  Finally, Jay had Jerry just where I wanted him!!!  But...

Jay didn't feel the need to deal with the captive so he decided to wait until morning.  Fateful decision.  That strategy, once again, was doomed.  

Jerry outsmarted my husband!  

Jerry wriggled and writhed his way over to the radiator, warmed up the glue on the trap, and bolted to freedom.  Snickering the whole way.

Moral of the story?  If you want your car fixed.....call Jay.  

If you want to rid your home of unwanted house guests....consult the phone book.

Bah, Humbug!

I take back everything nice I said about Kai in the previous post. I take back the "beautiful" and I definitely take back "magnificent." Kai has officially been placed on the naughty and not nice list!

Shortly after I posted my last entry, Kai decided to join the club. The "Hooligans Anonymous" club. CEO is Owen. CFO is Drew. Newest pledge is Kai.  Hooligans... all!!!

I thought I had at least several more months until Kai's initiation.  You see, you must do something grand and impressive to be considered for the club.  Surely Kai is too young to be in the running, I thought.  

I thought wrong!

Previous pledges gained entry into this exclusive club by doing things like painting their face, hands, clothes and Mama and Daddy's bed with red fingernail polish.....15 minutes before church.  (Thanks, Owen!)

Drew joined after he wrote on our fireplace, walls, dishwasher and fridge with red crayon.  (In the interest of full disclosure, he was under the very "watchful" eye of Jay at the time.)

What could Kai possibly do at the tender age of nine months, you ask?

He could summon the police!

Apparently, if a child calls 9-1-1 and then proceeds to slobber on and then hang up the phone, it requires a visit from the friendly neighborhood county police.  Imagine my surprise when a completely bald, rather stern police officer shows up at the door with a wad of chew in his mouth, .45 caliber pistol on his hip, bullet proof vest, and asks, "Is there a problem, ma'am? We got a 911 hang up call."

Well, I have Kai on my hip, a confused scowl on my face, and hooligans swirling about playing "monster" and I have to suppress the urge to respond, "Yeah, there's a problem!  I lost my mind and I'm being held captive by ankle biters!  Please rescue me, kind officer!"  

Instead I say, "Apparently I need to keep better tabs on my 9 month old.  He was playing with the phone.  Sorry for your trouble, sir."  

With that, he gives me a small smile, turns on his heel and heads back to his cruiser.  Thankfully, no lights or sirens were required.

In order to remain in good standing with the club and its officers, Kai must now proceed to think of any way to embarrass or otherwise fluster his mother.  i.e. poop in a teepee (follow this link for that lovely story) or pitch a fit in a museum.  The by-laws state that any and all shenanigans would be accepted in good faith.

'Tis the season!   Fa-la-la-la-la.......

9 months old

Wonder of wonders!!!!

Miracle of miracles!!!

Kai slept until 7:30 this morning!  

A whole 12 hours.....straight!

Maybe it has something to do with being 9 months old today.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that he got tired of looking at his Mama with gigantic bags and unsightly circles under her eyes. Maybe it was an early Christmas present for his zombie Mama.

Whatever the reason, I'LL TAKE IT!!!  

The sky looks bluer, the grass, well......browner (a casualty of the season).  Food tastes more scrumptious.  Little boys look a whole lot cuter.  And a spilled bowl of Cheerios and milk all over the table and floor is a lot easier to clean up on a full night's sleep!  

When you get only little bits of sleep for months on end, words do not come easily until about noon.  You lose your grip on the English language and start making up your own!  Perhaps I can now retire the growl and grumble that I so masterfully perfected as my morning time reply.

"Mama, can I have eggs on toast?"  Ugghhh.....I reply.

"Mama, I smell toast!"  Aargghh....I retort.

"Mama, I want oatmeal instead!"  (after the eggs were already made)   

AAAHHHHRRR-UGGG-UHHH...I reply.

Those inaudible moanings are a thing of the past if only my beautiful and magnificent, newly nine month old will give me more 12 hour nights.  

If Kai can crawl (since 5 months old, thank you very much!) and he can pull up, and cruise along furniture, and even stand on his own......SURELY, he can give me more nights of precious sleep!

This is my grown-up Christmas wish!