Bathroom Humor

The situation in the Spencer boys' bathroom has reached critical mass!  I've written before about the little boy pee that somehow, mysteriously, magically is not in the porcelain receptacle that it should be quarantined in.  I've awakened in recent nights to the sound of a child staggering like a drunken sailor to the hall bathroom to use the facilities. (I might add here that my boys have NEVER wet their beds.  A miracle that has not gone unnoticed by their Mama who is NOT prone to being a ray of sunshine in the morning.)  When I should be hearing the distinctive sound of potty hitting the water in the toilet, I hear nothing.  Nada.  Which can only mean one thing.....the toilet opening is woefully inadequate for my children and should be enlarged to the size of, oh, a SWIMMING POOL to ensure that their pee actually makes it into its intended target!

To combat the germs that must surely be having a frat party in that petri dish we call the boys' bathroom, I've placed Clorox Clean Up wipes in the bathroom for the boys to use when their aim is off or they get distracted or if they just get a hankering to make the bathroom shine like the top of the Chrysler Building.  And I must say, things are better.  The boys have gotten into the spirit of keeping their space "fresh and clean."  Miracles DO happen.

Now that the potty issues are relatively in control (until Kai starts to potty train, have mercy) I've focused my rage at the copious amounts of Sponge Bob Square Pants electric blue toothpaste that is decorating the sink, counter top and wall.  I marched Owen into the bathroom yesterday and demanded that he scrub and scrub like Cinderella (a comparison he didn't quite understand given the fact that he is a boy with no sisters and doesn't have a clue what a Disney princess is) until no traces of toothpaste remained.


I left him in the bathroom, confident that he would be there until next week because toothpaste has a way of turning to mortar if left for more than a few minutes.  As I walked past the bathroom I heard heavy breathing and some muttering.  Alarmed, I listened closer and heard something that reminded me how lucky I am to be the mother of these three crazy boys.

With a voice as menacing as he could muster, while scrubbing vigorously, I heard him saying....

"Alright tough guy....

I've got you."

Owen was reading the riot act to those crusted on blobs of toothpaste!  He was whooping some blue toothpaste booty, not taking any prisoners and giving it the what-for!  

Sure enough, the bathroom was sparkling clean when he walked out of there with a satisfied grin.  Mission accomplished, a child's imagination in tact and a Mama taking the time to have a much needed laugh while savoring the sayings of a precocious 4 year old.  It makes those minty blue blobs almost worth it.  Almost.