School is Canceled Along With My Sanity

Prince William County Public School System has canceled another day of school as a result of the Snowpocalypse of 2010.  This makes almost two weeks with no school. 

Apparently some dude in a suit rocked back in his administrative chair, smoking a cigar and decided that because it smelled like snow, or it was too white outside, or I don't know what, he figured that instead of instructing our children and giving us parents back our sanity, it was better that our children remain at home until all 30 inches of snow has melted from our lives or we've been carted from our homes to the looney bin, grateful for the chance at some quiet in our padded room.......whichever comes first.

Can he possibly fathom what is happening to my impressionable young student?  Drew's brain must be turning to mush.  Brain cells just dropping like flies with every episode of Sponge Bob.  I'm certain of it.  Why else would we be having conversations like this?

"Mom, can you please open the bathroom for me?"  

(Only those older than 30 are able to open our Kai-proofed doors.  We've removed the door knobs altogether.)

"Sure, Drew.  Give me just a few moments."

"How much is a few?"

"About 2-3."

"How long is a moment?"

"About 2 minutes."

"So you'll be here in about 4-5 minutes?"

"Yes."

"How many seconds is that?"

"About 240."
"So you'll be here in exactly 240 seconds?"
"Yep."

"That is too long!" 

I could just feel the life force being sucked out of me with each new question. 

Luckily I had enough life left in me to open the bathroom door within the 240 second time frame.  But I just couldn't resist the golden opportunity of saying to Drew, "Don't forget to wash your hands for exactly 500 seconds after you go to the bathroom."

A few minutes later I heard the sound of running water and 24....25....26.....27.......

I love him.  I really, really love him.