He Said, She Said on the First Day of Kindergarten

Anne of Green Gables said, "If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't..."

I've always had a sharp tongue. It is one of my biggest flaws and best traits.....depending on who you speak to and when! Learning to choose my words wisely is one of many difficult life lessons I am studying as I desperately try to improve myself and try to NOT ruin my children.

Recently I faced a head to head battle of "the things I should say vs. the things I want to say." And the battle raging inside my head centered around Drew's first day of kindergarten.

He said: "Mama, can I have steak and dark dip (aka. A1), broccoli, potatoes, and cheese balls for my back to school feast?"

What I wanted to say: "Broccoli? Really? Cheese balls? The orange Styrofoam kind? You don't eat junk like that for dinner!"

What I actually said: "I'd be happy to make those things. It is your special dinner. And we'll have beautiful flowers (which were more for me than for him) and fancy napkins and candles."

He said: "Oh, Mama! I'm so excited to go to kindergarten tomorrow. I'm really going to love it and I'm going to make lots of friends."

What I wanted to say: "Live it up now. Kindergarten is a walk in the park compared to the next 12 years. You'll have playtime and snack time and crafts. After kindergarten it is all down hill! You'll get well acquainted with the alarm clock, playground bullies, pimples, braces, cliques, disinterested teachers, difficult choices, studying, homework and early morning seminary."

What I actually said: "You're going to have a great day and be such a good student."


What he said: "Isn't this a cool name tag?"

What I wanted to say: "NO! You have to wear it because not a single soul in that school knows who you are and you are going away from your Mama who knows everything about you and can take care of you the best!"

What I actually said: "That is a pretty cool duck."

He said: "Do I have enough time before the bus comes to put some salt on this slug?"

What I wanted to say: "Boys! They're so predictable!"

What I actually said: "Sure, just don't get slug juice on your shorts."

He said: "Look! Here comes the bus!!!"
What I wanted to say: "Go ahead. Get on the bus. But in doing so you will be ignoring everything I've ever taught you about stranger awareness and car safety, because you'll be getting into a vehicle with a complete stranger. And for the first time in your entire 5 years of existence, you won't be wearing a seat belt. Go ahead...."

What I actually said: "Wait until it stops completely until you cross the street. And don't forget that I love you very much and that we'll be waiting for you when you come home."


What I said: "Give your brother a hug good-bye."

What he thought I said: "Give your brother a good strangle."
And away he went....Our lives forever linked to this thing we call public education; where he spends more waking hours with a stranger than he does with me. Where he learns bad words and where he will get his first dose of reality.....when someone tells him the world has been lying to him about Santa Claus and the flying reindeer. OK, maybe he'll learn a thing or two about reading and writing but he'll learn oh so much more.

On that first day I was anxious and nervous. Owen was lost and lonely. We filled our time with games and puzzles and making cookies. But there just wasn't enough filler to make up for the glaring hole in Owen's world.....where was his best playmate? Owen was lost when he wasn't the shadow. At 1:00 Owen sat by the window to wait for Drew's arrival when he could return to the comforts of being the shadow instead of having to deal with HIS new shadow, Kai.


And at 4:10 Drew returned home from Gravely Elementary School on bus 743 to shrieks of joy from his brother and a sigh of relief from his Mama. He told me about Mrs. Innocenzi and that he sits at the rhombus table and that Mr. J.J. makes him sit at the front of the bus. When I asked if anyone threw up in the hallway he just looked at me and wondered if that was something he might have missed. (Not a day went by in my elementary school when someone didn't ralph on the bus or in the hallway, prompting cries of "ewww" and "did you see that?" and "Mrs. Calloway! Johnny threw up his fiestata all over my backpack." And then the story of who, where and what grew from a story into a legend.)

Nope. There wasn't any fanfare or hysterics or pleas of, "Don't make me go back to that place!" He liked it. And for now, his schooling is uncomplicated. And I like that.

**don't know why I didn't publish this when the first day of kindergarten actually happened back in September!**