Kai's Odyssey

I endured the drive to the beach with grace and dignity and unsurpassed patience and maturity......I thought. After all, I was strapped into a seat with a 5-point harness like you might find on the space shuttle. Only this seat wasn't inside a rocket that propels you into outer-space with the force of 3 G's. THAT would've been cool.

Instead, my seat was strapped into a gray Honda Odyssey that I bet was only being driven at 75 mph. Not nearly fast enough to fulfill my need for speed.

The trip started off without a hitch. I enjoyed the beautiful Virginia countryside for about the first hour. I was a Saint! Nice and quiet and amenable. And then, long about Fredericksburg, it got pretty monotonous and mighty boring.

So I did what any other self-respecting one-year-old would do. I threw my sippy cup on the floor.....152 times! Boy, that was a fun game!!! Uncle Dane really seemed to be enjoying his part, too. Time after time he retrieved my cup and said the same thing, "Stop throwing your cup down, little man! I'm not going to pick it up again!" He's a good Uncle. I really thought that he would quit our game a lot earlier than he did.

When that game was done, I decided to play "Throw My Blanket to the Ground and See How Many Times Uncle Dane will Retrieve it."

I could play that game all day long! But shortly after I began the van stopped.

"FINALLY! We must be at the beach," I thought.

Mama got out and unbuckled Owen and away they went to go to the potty and get gas. She didn't get me out! She just left me in there, strapped in my seat with nothing to do and no beach anywhere in sight.

I was left with no choice.

No more mister nice guy!!!! I tried playing fun games like the sippy cup/blanket gravity game with Uncle Dane. I tried eating the endless amounts of goldfish and crackers Mama had squirreled away in her bag. (I even got 25% of them in my mouth with the other percentage going in my seat and on the floor.) Nevertheless, I was at the end of my rope.

I didn't want to do it, but Mama gave me no choice.

I resorted to screaming. I just opened my mouth as wide as it would go and let loose a squeal to end all squeals. Surely they would get the point that I was DONE with this restricting seat and slow-as-molasses vehicle.

But they didn't get it. We got more gas, visited more restrooms and even stopped at a rest stop. Still, they kept driving and I kept screaming.

I heard Uncle Dane mumble something about burst eardrums, ear plugs and worrying if his hearing would ever be the same.

Mama mentioned something about crazy little boys and the legal ramifications of strapping a carseat to the top of the van with a screeching pterodactyl still belted in.

After 2 days, just when I thought I couldn't take it any more...

We arrived at the beach and I got to explore and enjoy the wonder of the beach for an entire week. I used that time to rest up and recoup in preparation for our drive home with Grandma.

I wonder....will she like the sippy cup/blanket gravity game as much as Uncle Dane?