The Superhero and The Pirate

Our super hero has been dormant for a while. It has been his time to refuel and recharge and get ready for re-entry. So get ready, Houston...

He's baaaaackkkk!

Captain Owen has reemerged from his self-imposed hibernation and come back bigger, better, stronger and ready to make his presence known. He is no wall flower. No shrinking violet.

Captain Owen has never met a challenge he couldn't face. The battleground of choice, you ask?

None other than the illustrious, expansive, energy-draining........

Super Walmart.

It is tricky for a superhero to know if a stranger is a friend or foe. (This is especially the case in a place as large as Super Walmart.) It takes some serious contemplation and well-honed superhero instincts to discern the intentions of another human being. For example, today he asked me if I, along with various other family members, were "strong and righteous."

In addition to the "strong and righteous" qualities he detects, Captain Owen has a detailed checklist of things to look for in determining one's status. One such item is.......

An eye patch.

It is best for Captain Owen to be contained in his supercart as we tackle the jungle that is Super Walmart. (2 days earlier he broke a gallon container of grape juice all over aisle 3. Perhaps he was on a reconnaissance mission and needed to test the response time of the employees.)

So, as we rounded aisle 4 and got ready to tackle aisle 5, the superhero's muscles tensed and he jumped up from his cozy perch in the supercart.

He stealthily peered around the corner and quickly glanced back at his Mama who was muttering something like, "Sit back down, Owen! You are going to fall out onto your head!"

Her words were in vain. There were bigger things at stake here. Besides, a superhero is well skilled at risking life and limb in pursuit of the greater good.

With the biggest 3 year old voice Captain Owen could muster and an arm outstretched towards an unsuspecting man, my superhero proclaimed....

"Mama! He looks like a pirate!!!"

A rather plain looking man in regular Levi's and a Nascar t-shirt (we are in Alabama, you know) turned around.

And then I got it.

He had an eye patch.

So, the Mama employed a stealthy maneuver of her own and did a 180 with the supercart and bolted to the other side of the Super Walmart. She was in no mood to witness an "interesting" exchange between a curious Captain Owen and an annoyed looking pirate with an eye patch.