Today was going to be the day that I complained…..a lot. My life feels like a bad remake of the movie “Groundhog Day.” One day bleeds into another and the only thing that is different is the clothes I wear. Well, honestly, if you must know….sometimes I wear the same clothes I wore the day before. Seriously, does it matter? Who is going to know except children that have crusty oatmeal on their shirts 99% of the time? And Jay knows better than to say anything about the recurring pair of magical capris I wear that mysteriously clean themselves after a night spent on the floor of the closet.
I was going to complain about the poop that got on my leg and arm during a particularly difficult round of diaper changing with a boy that more closely resembles a greased piglet than a round-bottomed 13-month-old.
I was going to complain about the rain that has thwarted my efforts to take my nightly run for the past 2 weeks.
I was also going to lodge a complaint against little folks who insist on screaming, demanding, whining, crying and fighting while I try to have a phone conversation. I just *love* it when my 3 year old scoundrel yells in a voice that sounds like a fog horn, “MAMA! COULD YOU WIPE MY BOTTOM?” right when I’m on an important phone call. Sweet!
But as my fingers fly over the keyboard writing about the woes and ills that try to squash my spirit and suck me dry, I think of my friend. I think of her 3 young sons (one with red hair) and her awesome husband and how they’ve lost their anchor.
After a 3 day bout with the flu, she passed away.
The flu.
Not the swine flu, but the “regular” flu.
Suddenly, I feel like a brat. Faced with my own mortality and the fragile lives we all lead I realize that the “little stuff” that I turn into “big stuff” will quickly cloud my eyes from seeing the “good stuff.”
And I’ve got good stuff. REALLY good stuff. I just need to remind myself once in a while that amidst poopie pants, snotty noses, flabby thighs, and penny pinching I’ve got boys that belly laugh at an old episode of “Tom and Jerry” while cuddling with me on my bed. And I have a husband that still adores me after 10 years of me being…...me.
I’ve vowed to not ever, ever, ever say “Life isn’t fair.” Because no one is guaranteed anything. We aren’t guaranteed a long and happy life and a peaceful death in our sleep at the age of 92. We aren’t guaranteed our children will make the right choices and never be hurt or sick or sad.
But I can guarantee myself that I’ll try to drink the lemonade (that I made from the lemons life gave me) from a glass that I recognize is half-full and not half-empty. I can guarantee that I’ll try and do my best to love the life I have and not waste my energy longing for a different one. Because at the end of the day I should be grateful for the fact that I’m lucky enough to have experienced one more precious day.
3 comments:
That was beautiful. And those pictures of the five of you are equally fantastic.
Well put, mom. Well put.
Marilee..I only met you once. Jay brought you to our condo shortly after we were married and you were engaged (I think). I just found him on facebook and noticed this blog site listed. What a cute family of little boys you have. I have three little boys myself. Probably of similar ages to your. How fun! I understand where you are coming from, I think it is the life for a lot of us. Thanks for putting it in perspective. I look forward to reading your updates for all the fun stuff that these cute boys manage to do!
you are so eloquent...i love what you wrote, i get stuck down in the dumps way too often, so this helps put it all in perspective.
it has been so fun to get to know you, and we can definitely get together anytime you want, i have a lot to learn from you, you are a great photographer!
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